Tonight as I rocked my crying 1 year old to sleep, I was so overwhelmed by the feeling of total unity, that we are one, sharing one lifeline, our heart beats in perfect rhythm. Our souls in harmony, where nothing else mattered.

It’s always so easy to get frustrated and angry when our little ones won’t settle, and I am guilty of this. Big time! I just long for that quiet, down time after a long day with zero me-time. I just want to breathe and close my eyes for a few short minutes, before the never-ending chores of the daily grind and parenthood continue.

But tonight, I felt different. I felt that I was the entire world and universe to her! I was all she needed. All she needed was to be held tight, cuddled and given extra love (and trust me there’s no shortage)! It felt like an epiphany: with the number of COVID-19 cases on the rise, I often can’t quantify what 20,000 people would look like. It seems such a ginormous number that will make such a great impact. Then thinking back to how much one impacts jolted me. But then I retracted back to the unicorn-filled room, and was struck of the impact of just one person! How much one single person can mean to someone else. I had the potential to make or break in that moment. The power was in my hands, how much could I change how she felt…

What we can give to someone is immeasurable and we often don’t know the ripple effects thereafter. Maybe we will never fully know the effect a small gesture will have. It could be life-changing, it could change moods, it could reroute someone down a better path. A simple hug, a smile, a Hello, a nod. Another cuddle, another kiss.

Motherhood never ceases to amaze me, day in and out. It’s full of magical intricacies if you’re open to them! I just honed in and focused on what she needed at that specific moment and by having what it took to satisfy her desires, made me feel worthwhile and of extreme value. I felt at one with my angel. It’s not about just giving. It’s also about receiving opportunities for us to stop and become aware of the interconnected relationships and connections we are in. The intricate DNA of dependencies.

A baby, no matter how old, will always strive for interconnection and attachment to its mom. I know this all so well. After 9 months of growth, bonding, total unity without any disruption, nothing can bend, tear or mangle this bond. Nothing. Now it’s just out in the open for others to witness, that’s all. It’s beautiful and surreal. It’s nature at its best. It’s my happy place. Being wanted and needed by my mini.

One second, minute, hour may be draining on ourselves, but it has the potential to boost another. I felt this so loud and clear tonight. I felt like our heartbeats are in total sync… our love is solitary.

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I get shivers down my spine when I think how quickly life can change: in a blink of an eye, a millisecond. It boggles me that 0.1 seconds can change the lives of so many people, no warning, no preparation! No matter how much we all plan and think we’re in control, we’re not! Fact.

Imagine getting that dreaded call to say your husband’s been in a big car accident by the police? Unimaginable, right? Well that’s where I’m at. I got the dreaded call as my hubby was too dazed and out of it to talk in a coherent way. If my heart could have fallen out my body, it did! It is as if my brain stopped, and I flew into autopilot, numb, frozen and in action mode. I totally felt out of my body, with the worst thoughts going through my head. What was I going to see when I got there? What was his status? What if this, what if that? My mind blurred and slurred!

Now take someone who has a ginormous fear of police, all things medical and again, freezes and doesn’t cope! Yep, me again! So add the two scenarios! Life in that moment was surreal, shattered and fragmented into shards of my thinking combined with illogical reasoning and overwhelm – recipe for disaster and panic.

Long story short, after being taken to a specialist hospital for neck and spine injuries, he was spared another chance! With a written off car, poles bent, tyres flying off and the whole shebang, he walked away (very bruised and sore) – with a ruptured finger! Someone was watching over him, and over us as a family!

No pity required, but I feel it was such a huge awakening! I saw the hand of a higher power so vividly. Against all odds and what went on at the scene, the driver of the car shouldn’t be here to tell the tale. It just sucks that sometimes people need such big bashes and crashes and disaster right in front of our very eyes to be reminded how fragile life is! Why when things are all hunky dory do we just take life for granted and do not appreciate day by day?

Life is so precious. Family and friends are everything. Life is about relationships. Intangible feelings and connections. Deeper links. Life is about caring for one another, for looking out for people’s needs and offering a helping hand. It’s not about the material things. Often we feel we’ve made it when we strive and achieve all superficially.

The foundation of happiness needs to be built on something eternal. Superficial material things can go as quickly as they come. REAL happiness needs to be redefined and reviewed. And questioned!

What makes us happy? What is life all about? Can happiness be bought? Or is there something deeper. I know the answer….

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