When overwhelm strikes, and emotions go wild, my automatic response has always been to flee and run! Run as far away as possible ~ then out of sight, out of mind! It’s like putting down the shutters, and pretending whatever it is, doesn’t exist, even momentarily.

My whole life has always felt like there were two options for dealing and coping with uneasy situations. One is to be totally overwhelmed, panic, consumed with emotion and paralysed that I can only react and act accordingly, and often without some kind of common sense. Two, is to flee and run and ignore. If I’m not in it, I can cope. If I don’t think about it, I will manage and carry on. But is there a middle ground? How can I respond appropriately, with the necessary emotions and without being completely overwhelmed and engulfed by intense feelings? How, oh how do others do it?

Often, I feel it’s all or nothing, which I KNOW is not the case. Often, my head tells me one thing, yet my heart tells me another. How do I managed this discrepancy? How to I align and balance my rational thinking with my irrational feelings? Tough, right?

One option is about being stuck, unable to move, think or act. Feeling completely smashed down by the wave of pain and unable to come up for a breathe of fresh air. The other option feels easier to handle, as the event is compartmentalised and can be put away and not dealt with, so the emotions that are attributed can be muted or turned off. Not helpful either: as the pain and fear strikes back even harder when that compartment is opened, often at times which are not convenient, often triggered by things not in my control.

So, what the F is the middle ground? Is there even a middle ground? Why does it have to be one or the other, in my mind? Is it more helpful to feel the feelings and experience the pain? Or is it better to shut that emotional side down and carry on with the logistics and what needs to be done? Why do magic wands not exist?

There has to be an equilibrium. Something in the middle that allows for action and feeling. I guess it’s like a tipping scale, I just need to find the balance that’s right for that particular moment, but my question is, HOW?How on earth?

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