Motherhood has a funny way of presenting itself. It’s like an oxymoron in its truest sense. It’s hard, but it’s so natural and easy. It’s rewarding yet ever so challenging! It’s so joyful and warms your spirit, yet it’s often so frustrating, crushes you and is jaw clenching. You get the picture.
One comparison which keeps popping to mind is that the days are so, so long, yet the years are so, so short.
Some days, especially on maternity leave, feel like forever. You’re woken up numerous times in the night, you work on a repetitive cycle, feeding, burping, changing nappies, nap time, play time, bath, bed and REPEAT. Some days just drag and all the days just merge into one mush of time. It’s hard to keep tab whether it’s Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday, let alone know the date.
It may appear to the outside world that you’re not doing all that much, and mat leave is chilled, a nice break to relax with your baby, have coffees, attend baby classes and play dates, all which is true. Yet it can be gruelling. It’s lonely, at times mind numbing and long. The lack of constant adult stimulation can most definitely be felt.
However what I’ve come to appreciate, especially now that my first born is 2.5, is that the time flies. Day in and out may drag its feet, yet the cluster of time just flies. How can she already be sitting, eating, crawling, walking, running! Slow down, I wish time would just halt for now.
This constant dichotomy and pull happens in so many facets of parenting, it’s quite powerful. All day, every day. You don’t want to wish time and the years away, as they are fleeting and never to return, yet you want the long days to pass. Like with everything, it’s often one step forward, two steps back. It’s ok to yearn for normality, yet it’s also good to accept your new normality.