Motherhood is a constant balance and juggle. We’re constantly navigating extremes and trying to find that happy medium. It’s about rigid planning and being spontaneous. It’s about protecting and keeping constant yet having the ability to let go. Mothers are always shifting yet trying to remain stable and sturdy. Babies, so small and innocent, have the amazing ability to teach so much, lessons which can’t be taught in a classroom. And these lessons are often at the most trying of times, when we’re sleep deprived, low on energy and caught up in the sh*%#t moment. Here’s what I’ve gained from becoming a mum:
- Perseverance
This is clear and real. A baby tests and pushes us all. It etches at us to carry on despite being hard and at times painful. It teaches us the true sense of persistence: to keep going and not giving up. When things seem hard, it’s amazing how much more gets piled up on your plate and your miraculously cope. It’s about perspective, looking at the bigger picture even when the small pieces overwhelm. - Giving without receiving
Motherhood is the most selfless relationship out there. It’s truly about giving without receiving anything in return per se. An absolute dependent one way giving, where mother gives all to the baby. It’s not about if I give x, I’ll receive y. Some see motherhood as a sacrifice of self. We shift from a public figure where we’re intertwined with so many people in a give and take manner. Fast forward to becoming a mum, we just give and give and give unconditionally. We want our babies to be nourished, loved, clean and secure. We not feeding them in return for something. It’s truly empowering and a privilege to be able to be the prime provider for a little human who is yet to blossom and develop, because of you. - Change is the only constant
Motherhood is unpredictable. It changes minute by minute. No days are the same and once you’ve cracked it, it’s sure to change again. Change in all aspects remains the constant. Us as mums need to be fluid, and able to bend and bold with what’s thrown our way. A phrase which used to boil my blood rings so true now: this too shall pass. Nothing is set in stone as a mum. Nothing is forever. Things are changing and moving, up and down. Allow yourself to go with the motion of parenthood, it will help you deal with situations in a much more adaptable and pleasant manner. - Shifted priorities
Remember those days when you did what you wanted, when you wanted. Remember making yourself your first priority sometimes at the expense of others. Leapfrog to being a mum, and often your priorities become your kids and what’s best for them. You can’t just go to the pub after work for a drink. You can’t spontaneously just go to a show after work or book a last minute trip without some planning and preparation. It goes without say, and I struggle with this, we need to be our first priorities before that of our kids, because if we can’t give to ourselves, how do we give whole heartedly to others? It’s a fine line and a hard balance to get right as we can’t neglect either. Mums are exceptionally good at multitasking and finding a suitable way to include and prioritise. Circumstance by circumstance things shift and who the hero of the show is does too. - Be truthful to yourself
If a baby is angry, you sure will know about it. If they’re hungry, you can’t escape that wail. I’d they’re happy, that infectious giggle will melt your heart. Babies don’t hold back when expressing exactly how they feel so why should we as adults? By being open and communicating when life throws you a a metaphoric dirty nappy, can be liberating. Obviously if you’re angry and upset, we cannot go chucking a dummy or lie on the floor having a tantrum, but we can express eloquently how we feel which will in turn heal and propel us forward.